Monday 22 February 2016

Unusual Tales From the Rink

People are weird, but hockey fans are weirder. And when you group 18,000 of them together on numerous occasions, weird things will happen.

From the passionate misunderstandings to the downright embarrassing squabbles, these are a few unusual (but true) tales from the rink.

The Heckle Heard 'Round the World (Section 14)

March 14, 2012.

A few years ago, I spent March break on a golf trip with my family in Virginia. Well, they went to the beaches, the malls, the parks, and I golfed.

One afternoon, we went into Norfolk to eat at this popular drive-in diner. My parents were on this Food Network kick at the time, so it only made sense to them that we visit a restaurant that Guy Fieri yelled about on TV once.

As we were leaving the greasy 80's style diner, I saw two older woman in hockey jerseys walk in. I asked them if they were hockey fans (which, now, when I look back, is a really dumb question) and they told us that the local hockey team, the Norfolk Admirals, was playing in a couple hours. The Admirals were currently on a 15-game winning streak (they went on to win 28 in a row) and apparently the city had really started to pack the arena.

Hoping the game wouldn't be sold out, we rushed to the arena a couple hours before puck drop.

Tickets were $16 in the lower bowl and there were thousands left. Nonetheless, we got in.

The Admirals were playing the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins, the AHL affiliate of the Pittsburgh Penguins and before we dive into the punchline of this story, you should know that Wilkes-Barre is five hours outside of Pittsburgh.

Surprisingly, Wilkes-Barre had quite a few die-hards make the trip to Norfolk.

Now, at an AHL game in Norfolk, Virginia, you'd assume that a fair amount of fans would be equally involved with consuming alcohol as they were the actual hockey game.

And if you are currently assuming that this was the case, you'd be right.

As the game dragged on and the Wilkes-Barre fans became more public with their opinions on the Admirals' players, one Admirals supporter had finally had enough.

With the home crowd behind him and the likely alcohol consumption boosting his confidence, the man, probably 6 feet tall and pushing 250 lbs., stood up, turned around to face the Penguins faithful and delivered a heckle like no other.

"Pittsburgh is an awful city with too many rivers!"

To his and everyone one else's surprise, a gentleman sitting behind us took offence to the verbal jab (if you can call it that) and replied "That's why we have, y'know, boats and bridges and stuff!"

Thus broke out a rather long and surprisingly well-debated shouting match about the city's water transportation.

With out a doubt, the strangest argument I've ever witnessed.

An Awkward Skirmish in the Seats

December 30, 2013.

I'm not a fighter.

During Christmas break in my first year of university - and only year of university - I was home in Ottawa taking in an Ottawa Senators game with my pals Stuart and Vini. The Washington Capitals were in town for a weeknight matchup that was actually a very important one in the playoff race.

As you usually are at Sens games, my friends and I were seated around dozens of young children and their mothers and fathers. The Canadian Tire Centre isn't really home to rowdy fans unless the Leafs or Habs are in town, or if it's playoff time. Neither of those scenarios were present in suburban Kanata that night, so as it was customary, the arena had its normal atmosphere. A church. Or a library.

But there was one fan who clearly stood out amongst the quiet family affairs.

A scrawny, Russian fellow (at least, I think he was Russian) sitting with his girlfriend two rows of seats below us made it quite obvious he was a Capitals fan early on.

Barely minutes into the game, Washington struck first, and as I foreshadowed just a second ago, the scrawny Russian stood up and made himself the centre of attention.

After the regular cheering with his hands in the air, exuberant his favourite club had scored a goal, he turned around and taunted the rest of the crowd, shooting them with an imaginary machine gun. Seriously. That's exactly what happened. He also flipped off numerous fans throughout the game, but that was all background noise after his first enthusiastic jibe.

People didn't take too kindly to him post-machine-gun jeer.

Luckily for the home fans, the Senators came back and won 3-1, with Clarke MacArthur sealing the game with an empty netter which ended an extremely long goalless drought for the then 27-year-old.

Everyone around the only Caps fan in our section was poking fun at him during the entire game after his shenanigans, but it seemed to take an awful turn after the Senators were set to beat his favourite team. Whilst the home fans were giving him well-deserved verbal jabs, Stuart might have taken things too far and reached down to fiddle with his hat.

This was our skinny friend's breaking point.

He quickly whipped his head around, looked dead into my eyes and said "you." Stuart had turned his face and was acting like it wasn't him who poked the dragon, as I was caught in the cross hairs, laughing my head off.

He then began to climb the seats, pushing people out of his way as he made a beeline for me. I then understood instantly that this was very real and I was about to be in my first fight post Grade 7. He grabbed my coat with one hand and my collar with the other, attempting to hold me up like Darth Vader strangling an incompetent Death Star employee. As I held my arms in the air, yelling "I didn't do anything!" I could hear parents all around screaming "for God's sake, there are children here!"

Finally, Stuart helped pry the feisty nuisance off of me and he started to return to his seat.

But then someone to our right gave the guy a push from behind and the exact sequence of events that had just happened, happened once more.

Thankfully, this time a group of lads down below grabbed him, calmed him down and sent him on his way. Turns out the crime stoppers were from Antigonish, Nova Scotia, so being a maritimes boy myself, we got along just fine.

They ended up inviting my friends and I back to their hotel to have a couple drinks, but I replied politely "No thanks. My mom wants me home."

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